Zhao & Ozai's Secret? Love Affair
by BlckMagik
Summary: After Zhao's unfortunate death, the crew finds some love letters between Zhao and Ozai, as well as Zuko. Then, dive into some super private diary entries that will leave you laughing almost as much as you're gagging! ZhaoxOzai.
1. The Letters

Dear Fire Lord Ozai,

After Zhao's untimely demise, the crew unearthed a package of letters that we very much enjoyed. These letters contained heated conversations between yourself and Admiral Zhao, as well as letters sent anonymously to your son. The letters are in the order of sent and received for your, uh, convenience. We hope you enjoy these as much as we did; it really cheered us up after our defeat at the North Pole. 

Sincerely, (and with much _love_) the crew (for we fear to put our names down)

* * *

Sent: Dear Fire Lord Ozai, 

Ever since I left you and set out on my way, I can't stop picturing your face. You're in my dreams every night, and I don't know how to handle this. How am I supposed to do my job if I can't stop thinking about you?

I am more concerned that you do not share the same feelings for me as I do for you. It's getting late, and I must send this letter before we leave port. Hopefully, I can expect one back. You know our next destination, so locating us shouldn't be a problem.

Love, Zhao

* * *

Received: Dear Zhao, 

I haven't forgotten you. Ever since my wife, Ursa, abandoned me at the most important time of my life you've been there to help me along. How can I forget all the kind things you've done for me, and all you've helped me with? I hope to see you again soon, so hurry up and come back. I'll be waiting.

Love, your Oh-oh

* * *

Sent: Dear Fire Lord Ozai, 

I remember the day I gave you that nickname. It's my favorite memory of all. We were sitting beneath the trees, which had just begun to bud, and it began to rain. You covered me with your cloak, and together we sat, letting ourselves be drenched in the sky's tears. That's when I first turned to you and called you my Oh-oh. Do you remember?

Love, Zhao

* * *

Received: Dear Zhao, 

Of course I remember! I think of that all the time! But I'm afraid that our relationship can only be professional.

From, Fire Lord Ozai

* * *

Sent: Dear "Fire Lord Ozai," 

I'm enraged that you could say such a thing! I thought we had something special going on! This is certainly a different attitude then you showed me before I left. Don't you remember that one time, in your room…

But if it's "strictly professional" I guess I can't remind you of that.

Sincerely, Just Zhao

* * *

Received: Dear Zao-zao, 

Forgive me, it's hard to deal with this. Let me make it up to you. I am promoting you to Admiral. With your attitude and great body, you shall make a wonderful Admiral.

Love, Oh-oh

* * *

Sent: Dear Oh-oh, 

Thank you for the promotion, but an apology would have been sufficient. I have another target now, besides the Avatar, I hope you don't mind. The Blue Spirit. Heard of him?

Love, Zao-zao

* * *

Received: Dear Admiral Zhao, 

Yes, I've heard of him, and I wish you luck. Please keep me informed of everything. As of my news, I have nothing to report but a dream I had. We were in the rain, just like that memory you wrote me about a few weeks back. I hope one day, we can re-live it.

Love, Ozai

* * *

Sent: Dear Prince Zuko, 

Why do you always show up where I am? Are you tracking me?

Signed, Anonymous

* * *

Received: Dear Anonymous, 

It was torture trying to find someone who could deliver this letter to you. They wouldn't tell me who you were, but I expect you're the Avatar. And know that I will never give up on trying to capture you. Never.

Signed, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation

* * *

Sent: Dear Prince Zuko, 

I am not the Avatar. But I have been watching you for quite some time. You are almost like your father. Skill, perseverance, muscle. You have it all. I applaud you.

Signed, Anonymous

* * *

Received: Dear Anonymous, 

Once again, if you would just come out with who you are it wouldn't take me so long to reply. I still believe you are the Avatar, for he is the only one I track. If you are not he, then stop this infernal letter-sending at once! You are making me write, and wasting the time I could use to capture my prize!

Signed, Prince Zuko

* * *

Received: Dear Zao-zao, 

It was my birthday yesterday, have you forgotten? I did not receive a letter from you. No matter, you must be busy. I have written a poem, and I hope you do enjoy it.

Fire is red  
Water is blue  
I can't stand  
Being separate from you 

Do you like it?

Love, Oh-oh

* * *

Sent: Dear Fire Lord Ozai, 

I enjoyed the poem, yes. But being separate from you has clogged my thoughts and feeling for my Oh-oh. I'm afraid we are growing more distant.

From, Zhao

* * *

Received: Dear Zhao, 

Do my eyes deceive me? Tell me it isn't true, what you've written! What about all the times we've spent together? What about our promise to always love one another? My heart aches from the thought of no longer being connected to you through love. Is there someone else?

Still yours, Oh-oh

* * *

Sent: Dear Fire Lord Ozai, 

Yes, I have found someone else.

From, Admiral Zhao

* * *

Received: Dear Zhao, 

Is that all you write now? Hear me, I _will_ win you back! Even if it means disposing of the one who has so treacherously torn you from my arms!

From, Ozai

* * *

Sent: Dear Prince Zuko, 

You are the Blue Spirit, are you not? Well, that only makes my love for you stronger. I'm sorry to say I've given up on my other love to pursue you. Tell me you'll be mine.

Love, Zao-zao

* * *

Received: Dear "Zao-zao" 

Who the hell are you?

Leave me crap alone, and stop harassing me.

Signed, Prince Zuko

* * *

Sent: Dear Prince Zuko, 

You shall pay dearly for those words. Mark mine, I will have my revenge.

Signed, Zao-zao

* * *

Received: Dear Zao-zao 

You're an ass. I'm not afraid of you. Take your best damn shot.

Signed, Prince Zuko

* * *

Sent: Dear Zuzu, 

Trust me. I will.

Love, your not-so-secret admirer, Zao-zao

* * *

Sent to crew as a reply to their package: 

Dear crew,

Those are private! How dare you look at them! I am sending soldiers to take care of the issue, meaning _you,_ and I hope you suffer greatly for this.

From, your worst enemy, Fire Lord Ozai

* * *

Published one month later: 

To whom it may concern,

The crew which had once served under Admiral Zhao (now deceased) has been tragically lost. An accident occured where they were traveling by boat along a rocky mountain range. Under unexplainable happenings, a chunk of rock seperated from the side of the mountain, falling and killing, much to Fire Lord Ozai's dissapointment, the entire crew. When interviewed, Fire Lord Ozai had this to say:

"What an unfortunate accident. Very sad, yes indeed."

Everyone is welcome to attend the funeral service which will be held in their honor. Thank you.

* * *

_Author's Note: Awww...OzaixZhao. We all know that's why he was promoted. And thanks Shay for the poem idea.  
Nikole_


	2. The Poem

_On the last page I thanked Shay for the poem idea...well here's the poem...I forgot to post it. Wow. No comment there. Anyway, hope this makes you laugh like heck!_

* * *

Poem sent from Fire Lord Ozai to Admiral Zhao

We've been apart for such a time,

our kiss, it made you sweat;

a sweat which made your muscles shine

and made them soaked and wet

And, my god Zhao, your butt is fine

and though we're not allowed,

I really wish I could call you mine,

together, we're on a cloud

If we could kiss, oh just once more

my life would have a point,

and it'd keep my heart unsore

unlocking each stale joint

Separate, without one another

I'm not two but one,

together we complete each other

(and you know that we had fun)

To frolic through the garden,

oh, but one more time,

these tears you must pardon

for these memories make me rhyme

There's just no other way to say;

"I love you with all my heart,"

hoping we could be together each day,

be together, and not apart

A poem is the only way

to tell you how i feel,

this poem's how i must convey

that you, my Zhao, were real

And if I could eat you up again,

maybe you'd finally see

(you've left my heart on a chain)

how much better off we'd be

Just come back to me, my Zhao,

for at sight of you I'm weak,

you've always been more then a pal

and without you my life looks bleak

And so I pray, arrives the day

that you return to me,

and on that day, I'll feel gay,

and happy we shall be.


	3. Ozai's Diary

Diary entries from Fire Lord Ozai when he first came into power.

Dear Diary,  
Day number four as Fire Lord. I love the power; I love the ability to control everything. And I think I love someone else as well. After my wife, Ursa, was...no longer with me...I decided I might as well start looking for a new wife. Well, I came across no likely candidates for the Fire Lady, but I have, however, fallen in love. It's not official yet, meaning I'm not sure if it's just a crush, which it very well could be. The thing I'm afraid of, is that my love, is a man. As Fire Lord, how can I possibly be with a man? My subjects look up to me, they adore me (of course, if they don't adore me I'll just burn them to a crisp) and most of all, I'm an idol. How can I go against our traditions and laws and be with a man? Oh, how I'm torn between two ways. Should I follow my heart, or my destiny?

Dear Diary,  
It's been a while since I've written in you. Two weeks to be exact. The man I was writing about last has helped me through this difficult time (referring to losing my wife and becoming Lord). I think I was right, I have fallen in love. His name is Zhao, and he has the body of a god. His personality is bitter and sharp; complete uncaring for others and want of power. I love it. I love him. Oh, how I wish he would be mine. I promise myself I will win him over; and I will not let anyone know. It shall be our secret...

Dear Diary!!!  
I am full of delight. It's been three days since I've written, and in those three days I have won over my man! We were just getting out of an important meeting, when I pulled him aside to promote him to Commander. As he turned to leave, I could no longer hold it in. I turned him to me and leaned in for the kiss, but before I could, _he_ kissed _me! _I am so gleeful; afterwards we went for a long walk in the gardens, and it began to rain. I gave him my cloak to shield him from the drops, and he turned to me; he called me his Oh-oh. And I, in turn, named him my Zao-zao. I look forward to our next meeting, and hope it will bring new joys.

Dear Diary,  
Nothing much to report today. I received beautiful flowers from an anonymous source, but had to burn them. Can't have my soldiers thinking I'm weak because I take joy in flowers, can I?

Dear Diary,  
I saw Zhao again. It was only for a few seconds but we plan to meet in my room tomorrow night. I will write you after he leaves.

Dear Diary,  
It's morning. _Not_ night. Why is that? It's because he spent the night in my bed. Oh my god, diary, it was amazing. I'm only telling you because I know you won't tell _anybody_. Oh diary, you're the only person I can truly confide in. Well, on with my story, when he first came he brought wine, and we had a wonderful candle-light dinner in my chamber. After that we moved to my couch, where (with a few more glasses of wine) we became comfortable enough to make out for an incredibly long time. Suddenly he stopped kissing me, pulled away, and whispered in my ear; "Want to move to the bed?" I agreed! Oh, how I agreed! And diary, that was the most splendid night of my life. I never knew being with a man could be so wonderful! Oh, how I rejoice over the memories...but now I must go, for he is coming out of the bathroom and I do not wish for him to see me with you. Until we next speak, farewell diary.

Dear Diary,  
I think my son, Zuko, spotted me with Zhao today. I'm not entirely sure, but I could tell from the sly smile that overcame his face, that he _saw; _that he saw me and Zhao. Fortunately, we were not doing anything other then holding hands, which I know was not visible from the angle my son was staring from. If he seems to know anything, then I'll do the only thing I can do. Banish him for some false reason; send him away to avoid my embarrassment, saying that _he _is my embarrassment. Yes, that's what I'll do if he seems to know too much.

Dear Diary,  
I got laid again.

Dear Diary,  
The Avatar is alive! I thought he had been killed along with all the other airbenders, but it turns out he is alive. At least, that is according to the Sages. They say within a few years, he will be completely able to fight, so we must act quickly. I need someone to send to retrieve him. I know Zhao is the best choice, but I do not want to lose him. I will lie to him and say the Avatar is not alive, anything just to let him stay.

Dear Diary,  
Zuko knows. By-jove he knows! Time to set my plan into action. Within a year or two I will banish him for some false reason and send him off to capture the Avatar! This way, I kill two birds with one stone. (And I get to keep my Zhao!)

* * *

A/N: Okay...so I went from Love Letters to Diary entries...either way you know Ozai and Zhao were mental. 


End file.
